Picture the scene: you and your chocolate dream meet, date and now enjoy significant other status. Then, there are children in the picture and soon, life has become a busy schedule punctuated by joy and ecstasy, heartache and pain and all the consolation bits in-between. Falling in love was fabulous and now this part?
Twelve months of happiness
Relationship psychologists report that the bliss of the honeymoon phase will last for a maximum of 12 months. So, according to them, like the addict’s first high, we spend the rest of our lives striving to recapture those times. Those days when nothing could dim the euphoric of love-rays which lifted us, soaring, to cloud 9.
Of course we experience moments where we skydance in happiness; the birth of a new born baby, the graduation, the joy of a birthday surprise, the warm fuzzy feeling of living and growing as a family.
Wouldn’t we be short-changing ourselves if we brought into the one year scenario? Surely, our creator would not limit our capacity give and receive such beautiful gifts to each other to only 12 months? That said, we don’t have to look too far to see couples weighed down with responsibilities and emotional baggage. To the extent, they hardly communicate and live as strangers who share the same bed every night. So, how do we recapture those heady days? Is it possible to experience rapture on a constant basis?
Rising in love
Blissful living is in closer reach than we may imagine. It starts with our love anchors – our love orientation. I’ve often heard my beloved matriarch say that couples should focus on rising as opposed to falling in love. She teaches that by simply replacing falling to rising in love, we zone into a rapturous paradigm of thinking, doing and being with our loved ones.
According to her diverse wisdom, we get carried away in the thrill of early romance and literally do as the blockbuster movies teach us – fall in love. While falling we lose our grip of reality and begin to make completely irrational decisions based on illusions of fiery lust driven connectivity.
Taking time to work out whether this partner is an asset that will grow your family investment portfolio is the discussion to be having. Checking whether his finely toned body will make for handsome children is, of course, also a consideration but before all of that know where your love ship is anchored.
Is your love-vision set on a path that can articulate what a true partnership looks and feels like? One that values giving and receiving as opposed to giving and taking? Are you ready to be what it is you want to see, to give and allow yourself to receive? In exploring these questions the answers will reveal joyful dreams, spread out as wings as we rise in love.
Showing posts with label ecstasy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ecstasy. Show all posts
Monday, November 3, 2008
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Simple Pleasures
The other day as I sat at the salon quietly observing life go by, a hot 80s, Kool & the Gang tune playing on the radio took us back to the 80s, had us all grooving and reminiscing about when, according to my salon friends – times were sweet.
I heard (and remembered) how those were the days when we used to go out dressed to the nines, knowing we looked hot and whoever had the privilege of crossing our perfume laden paths –well, they knew tonight was the night!
We laughed as we recalled the dance moves and lamented about the days when life seemed to be more fun, more enriching and ironically, more simple.
Ok, so some things haven’t changed, maybe the S-curl and the hi-gloss lipstick has been swapped for bling and more bling. So, we still love looking good but valuing and appreciating beauty in simple things is a rare quality these days.
Maybe we’re just getting old, chirped a sister in the corner. Not so, according to my locktician twisting my locks through his fingers. He pointed out that in ‘the good old days’, life’s simple pleasures were as basic as being able to go out and have fun without fearing for our safety. He added that young people these days have so much to deal with. Alcohol, drugs and the constant battle of competing to be the world’s most cool, switched on, connected but worse still, being alive to see their 35th birthday.
Seems the bottom line is, life is cheap these days. For all the gadgets, access to technology and information designed to enhance our lives, clearly we are dangerously close to becoming completely devoid of life’s so-called, ‘simple pleasures’.
So what are simple pleasures to us these days? Consider time - a fast evaporating commodity? – some say there is never enough! When last did you take time to feel the juice of a luscious mango run down your chin? Whilst on our never ending treadmill of must-do, have to and where to next, it seems we have to plan time to just be.
We are feeling the heat and the call to unclutter our lives abounds from Oprah house makeovers, to the health gurus who warn that clutter, the unending quest to acquire and consume is the biggest threat to our lives. Read: stress! Stress that comes from worrying about keeping up with the Jones’ and the fear of never having enough. Truth is, what ever we have will never be enough.
In our love-hate relationship with cosmopolitan modernity, we love the experiencing and consuming shiny new things, however, deep down we yearn for the worn, comfortable ‘old’ things.
When we look back, generations before us never had facebook but they were deeply connected to each other. They took time for and with each other. They experienced life’s luxuries from a different perspective.
It’s a calling and some are heeding the call. Imagine the collective power of a global reality which prioritises time spent being instead of time spent doing in the quest to raise the stakes of consumerism. Simple pleasures – Taking time to feel, to love, to listen, to be, will pave a road to everyday ecstasy.
I heard (and remembered) how those were the days when we used to go out dressed to the nines, knowing we looked hot and whoever had the privilege of crossing our perfume laden paths –well, they knew tonight was the night!
We laughed as we recalled the dance moves and lamented about the days when life seemed to be more fun, more enriching and ironically, more simple.
Ok, so some things haven’t changed, maybe the S-curl and the hi-gloss lipstick has been swapped for bling and more bling. So, we still love looking good but valuing and appreciating beauty in simple things is a rare quality these days.
Maybe we’re just getting old, chirped a sister in the corner. Not so, according to my locktician twisting my locks through his fingers. He pointed out that in ‘the good old days’, life’s simple pleasures were as basic as being able to go out and have fun without fearing for our safety. He added that young people these days have so much to deal with. Alcohol, drugs and the constant battle of competing to be the world’s most cool, switched on, connected but worse still, being alive to see their 35th birthday.
Seems the bottom line is, life is cheap these days. For all the gadgets, access to technology and information designed to enhance our lives, clearly we are dangerously close to becoming completely devoid of life’s so-called, ‘simple pleasures’.
So what are simple pleasures to us these days? Consider time - a fast evaporating commodity? – some say there is never enough! When last did you take time to feel the juice of a luscious mango run down your chin? Whilst on our never ending treadmill of must-do, have to and where to next, it seems we have to plan time to just be.
We are feeling the heat and the call to unclutter our lives abounds from Oprah house makeovers, to the health gurus who warn that clutter, the unending quest to acquire and consume is the biggest threat to our lives. Read: stress! Stress that comes from worrying about keeping up with the Jones’ and the fear of never having enough. Truth is, what ever we have will never be enough.
In our love-hate relationship with cosmopolitan modernity, we love the experiencing and consuming shiny new things, however, deep down we yearn for the worn, comfortable ‘old’ things.
When we look back, generations before us never had facebook but they were deeply connected to each other. They took time for and with each other. They experienced life’s luxuries from a different perspective.
It’s a calling and some are heeding the call. Imagine the collective power of a global reality which prioritises time spent being instead of time spent doing in the quest to raise the stakes of consumerism. Simple pleasures – Taking time to feel, to love, to listen, to be, will pave a road to everyday ecstasy.
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