Last week's piece about the chocolate dream sparked much debate. The issue of satisfaction touched a raw nerve! The concern seems to be over whether satisfaction is a destination or the journey itself. Are you satisfied with your life?
We're all striving for total satisfaction but most of the time the torrent of complaints and negative thoughts in our heads put us far from nirvana. They say satisfaction equals happiness. If it does, then, seemingly, there are many unhappy people out there. Something's wrong with this picture!
Strikes me that a lack of clarity about what motivates our journey is the reason that we (often unconsciously) opt for mediocrity and satisfaction evaporates into the ether.
Getting there
Here in South Africa, there's a phrase you will hear often when you ask people how they are - 'oh, I'm trying' or 'we're getting there'. Well, that says it all!
It's true to say that we're all 'getting there' as we ebb and flow through life's journey, but each time we say 'I'm trying', there's a tape that plays 10 times over in our heads repeating the same phrase. Hardly surprising then, when I meet the same person next week, she's still trying.
Trying to do what? Trying to be what? The problem is that vague, open-ended thoughts end up in murky waters called depression. Being specific is vital to our very being in this world. In that specificity we automatically jump from trying to being, from visualising to actualising our dreams.
Unbridled consumerism
Yes, you've heard it all before but are you listening to your heart? Having nurtured a culture of unbridled consumerism, the external messages saying 'take me!' often ring louder, resonate deeper than those that are within.
Some may argue - it's not our fault. After all, we've grown up in cultures where consumption is literally ingrained into our psyche. Unless we're consuming and demonstrating our capacity to consume, we somehow feel inferior - even within ourselves; forget the Jones family next door!
When you check it out, happiness will continue to elude us because often we're so lost in the act of consuming that we lose our grip on the reason why we wanted it in the first place.
Culturally speaking, whether our life spaces are in Africa, Europe or the Caribbean, the philosophical orientation impacts our understanding of consumption and satisfaction.
Combat desperation
In various parts of Africa, I often hear the message of acceptance in the face of gloom. 'It wasn't meant to be', 'it wasn't for you' and 'God didn't want it that way'. However you slice it up, it means the same thing! Some things in life are tough, but it needn't be the end of the world or your cue for desperation.
This culturally reinforced anchor keeps people strong. Strength is gained from living in the now. Total satisfaction may still be a milestone away but in acceptance, the vision is reinvigorated.
I'm for effortless ecstasy on a never-ending street called desire. Here's to you knowing your hearts desire and daily satisfaction!
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Monday, March 16, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
Flowers of the (R)Evolution
An avid Flair Fe-Mail Ties reader, once chided me for undervaluing the youth of today. Just shy of her 20th birthday, she lamented the fact that I almost always place more value on generations gone by and traditions of old, and more often criticise modernity. Her stance was that young people today are doing the best they can and that they should be applauded for the strides they're making in these challenging times.
Pause point
As the first few days of the New Year roll by, her words echo in my mind. Word is that New Year resolutions are démodé; but nonetheless, the end of the year is certainly a pause point where it makes sense to stop to evaluate where we've come, in preparation for where we are going.
Amid the celebrations, I observed many well-intentioned people planting new seeds of hopes and dreams for the future. As the struck 12 on New Year's Eve, showers poured down on Johannesburg. As the good-wish SMS messages came in, many prayed that the rain would wash away all the bad memories of 2008, rinsing the slate clean for a new day. If you could start all over again, what would you change? How would you operate in the new day without the lessons of yesteryear? I always look to the past in affirmation of choices that I can make today with a view of tomorrow.
A few days into the new year, I hosted the first 'Earthseed Matriarch Dialogues' for 2009, where a group of Jamaican mothers and daughters gathered to talk about their evolution as women. As the circles of life from daughter to grandmothers spin, we searched for anchors which grounded our life evolution as women in the 21st century. These were always found in the past.
As we explored various facets of the journey to womanhood, we squirmed as our mothers shared with us how they handled their 'monthly' bulky squares of white cotton unimaginable in today's high-tech age of G-string shaped sanitary towels complete with wings!
Public exposure
As we considered the indignity of the public exposure of the squares on the washing line, we noted with reverence the dignity with which they shared their memories. We saw the joy in their faces as they described some of the tougher moments and the skills they have honed into nuggets of wisdom that only age and experience can bring.
So when we, 'matriarchs-in-training', some now mothers, spoke of our journey to womanhood, we all noted with interest the cyclical nature of life. Our challenges were their challenge, a different era, a different solution - or so some thought. We saw that from mother to daughter, those seeds of hope sometimes only blossomed a generation later.
So as we attempt to wash our troubles away, take time for a moment to consider the valuable insights those who have walked before us can offer. Take time to consider also that those bad experiences are the seeds which flower into your personal evolution. So let it rain and nurture but not wash away the seeds planted in celebration of life.
Pause point
As the first few days of the New Year roll by, her words echo in my mind. Word is that New Year resolutions are démodé; but nonetheless, the end of the year is certainly a pause point where it makes sense to stop to evaluate where we've come, in preparation for where we are going.
Amid the celebrations, I observed many well-intentioned people planting new seeds of hopes and dreams for the future. As the struck 12 on New Year's Eve, showers poured down on Johannesburg. As the good-wish SMS messages came in, many prayed that the rain would wash away all the bad memories of 2008, rinsing the slate clean for a new day. If you could start all over again, what would you change? How would you operate in the new day without the lessons of yesteryear? I always look to the past in affirmation of choices that I can make today with a view of tomorrow.
A few days into the new year, I hosted the first 'Earthseed Matriarch Dialogues' for 2009, where a group of Jamaican mothers and daughters gathered to talk about their evolution as women. As the circles of life from daughter to grandmothers spin, we searched for anchors which grounded our life evolution as women in the 21st century. These were always found in the past.
As we explored various facets of the journey to womanhood, we squirmed as our mothers shared with us how they handled their 'monthly' bulky squares of white cotton unimaginable in today's high-tech age of G-string shaped sanitary towels complete with wings!
Public exposure
As we considered the indignity of the public exposure of the squares on the washing line, we noted with reverence the dignity with which they shared their memories. We saw the joy in their faces as they described some of the tougher moments and the skills they have honed into nuggets of wisdom that only age and experience can bring.
So when we, 'matriarchs-in-training', some now mothers, spoke of our journey to womanhood, we all noted with interest the cyclical nature of life. Our challenges were their challenge, a different era, a different solution - or so some thought. We saw that from mother to daughter, those seeds of hope sometimes only blossomed a generation later.
So as we attempt to wash our troubles away, take time for a moment to consider the valuable insights those who have walked before us can offer. Take time to consider also that those bad experiences are the seeds which flower into your personal evolution. So let it rain and nurture but not wash away the seeds planted in celebration of life.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Will the real queen please stand up?!!
When last did you meet a queen? Sure, we know of queens in folklore and fables, and in mythical tales told in dreamspaces, too often reserved for children. In history, we’ve also heard of conquering lionesses - from Nanny of the Maroons of Jamaica to Nana Yaa Asantewaa of the Ashanti nation in Ghana. Both are renowned queens; women who led their people to conquer mighty powers, their prowess and virtues remain poignant affirmations as we celebrate them as national heroes. But, when last did you meet a real-life queen?
As we pause for breath after Emancipendence celebrations in Jamaica, we remember and honour our ancestors who fought and won liberation struggles of the past. Across the Caribbean and the African Diaspora, our recognition of Emancipation Day (August 1) offers us an opportunity to celebrate yes, and also, in the jubilation take time to reflect, define and engage a renewed sense of liberation.
Though we could probably count the number of documented and celebrated female warriors of fame and stature on one hand, we know that the unsung heroines of our past continue to serve in quiet accomplishment. Also queens, their crowns are often intangible and their works, indefatigable.
As for real-life queens, in our urban, cosmopolitan realities, we now talk of dancehall queens and even male queens. Somehow, the respected status of the queen mother is now veering towards media driven superficiality quashing any notion of serving a community.
Take the Rain Queens of the Modjadji female dynasty who have reigned over six generations, originating in Zimbabwe and then in Limpopo, South Africa. Amongst their other duties, the Rain Queens are revered for their ability to invoke nourishing rain showers especially in times of drought and hardship.
In her 2008, Emancipation Day message, Leader of the Opposition, Portia Simpson Miller notes how Jamaica is suffering from the global impact of soaring prices of basic consumer goods. She says; “rain a fall but dutty tough” and calls for action. MP Simpson Miller goes on to say that by building families and strong communities we can create abundant futures.
Rain is a powerful life force that symbolically parallels the significant works of service offered by us women, the real-life queens in our communities. Inherently, women are incubators, nurturers, and gatherers. So as you go about your daily activities, consider for a moment what kind of rain queen are you?
170 years after the abolition of the slavery, the emancipation celebrations present important opportunities to consider the meaning of liberation in our current realities.
As women shaping legacy for future generations to inherit, we are all members of communities at home, in our jobs, social groups and the like. Let us proudly reclaim our queenships and fiercely craft stories which create nurturing and dynamic communities for the future.
So, real-life queens step up!!
As we pause for breath after Emancipendence celebrations in Jamaica, we remember and honour our ancestors who fought and won liberation struggles of the past. Across the Caribbean and the African Diaspora, our recognition of Emancipation Day (August 1) offers us an opportunity to celebrate yes, and also, in the jubilation take time to reflect, define and engage a renewed sense of liberation.
Though we could probably count the number of documented and celebrated female warriors of fame and stature on one hand, we know that the unsung heroines of our past continue to serve in quiet accomplishment. Also queens, their crowns are often intangible and their works, indefatigable.
As for real-life queens, in our urban, cosmopolitan realities, we now talk of dancehall queens and even male queens. Somehow, the respected status of the queen mother is now veering towards media driven superficiality quashing any notion of serving a community.
Take the Rain Queens of the Modjadji female dynasty who have reigned over six generations, originating in Zimbabwe and then in Limpopo, South Africa. Amongst their other duties, the Rain Queens are revered for their ability to invoke nourishing rain showers especially in times of drought and hardship.
In her 2008, Emancipation Day message, Leader of the Opposition, Portia Simpson Miller notes how Jamaica is suffering from the global impact of soaring prices of basic consumer goods. She says; “rain a fall but dutty tough” and calls for action. MP Simpson Miller goes on to say that by building families and strong communities we can create abundant futures.
Rain is a powerful life force that symbolically parallels the significant works of service offered by us women, the real-life queens in our communities. Inherently, women are incubators, nurturers, and gatherers. So as you go about your daily activities, consider for a moment what kind of rain queen are you?
170 years after the abolition of the slavery, the emancipation celebrations present important opportunities to consider the meaning of liberation in our current realities.
As women shaping legacy for future generations to inherit, we are all members of communities at home, in our jobs, social groups and the like. Let us proudly reclaim our queenships and fiercely craft stories which create nurturing and dynamic communities for the future.
So, real-life queens step up!!
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