Still Trying

Last week's piece about the chocolate dream sparked much debate. The issue of satisfaction touched a raw nerve! The concern seems to be over whether satisfaction is a destination or the journey itself. Are you satisfied with your life?

We're all striving for total satisfaction but most of the time the torrent of complaints and negative thoughts in our heads put us far from nirvana. They say satisfaction equals happiness. If it does, then, seemingly, there are many unhappy people out there. Something's wrong with this picture!

Strikes me that a lack of clarity about what motivates our journey is the reason that we (often unconsciously) opt for mediocrity and satisfaction evaporates into the ether.

Getting there
Here in South Africa, there's a phrase you will hear often when you ask people how they are - 'oh, I'm trying' or 'we're getting there'. Well, that says it all!

It's true to say that we're all 'getting there' as we ebb and flow through life's journey, but each time we say 'I'm trying', there's a tape that plays 10 times over in our heads repeating the same phrase. Hardly surprising then, when I meet the same person next week, she's still trying.

Trying to do what? Trying to be what? The problem is that vague, open-ended thoughts end up in murky waters called depression. Being specific is vital to our very being in this world. In that specificity we automatically jump from trying to being, from visualising to actualising our dreams.

Unbridled consumerism
Yes, you've heard it all before but are you listening to your heart? Having nurtured a culture of unbridled consumerism, the external messages saying 'take me!' often ring louder, resonate deeper than those that are within.

Some may argue - it's not our fault. After all, we've grown up in cultures where consumption is literally ingrained into our psyche. Unless we're consuming and demonstrating our capacity to consume, we somehow feel inferior - even within ourselves; forget the Jones family next door!
When you check it out, happiness will continue to elude us because often we're so lost in the act of consuming that we lose our grip on the reason why we wanted it in the first place.
Culturally speaking, whether our life spaces are in Africa, Europe or the Caribbean, the philosophical orientation impacts our understanding of consumption and satisfaction.

Combat desperation
In various parts of Africa, I often hear the message of acceptance in the face of gloom. 'It wasn't meant to be', 'it wasn't for you' and 'God didn't want it that way'. However you slice it up, it means the same thing! Some things in life are tough, but it needn't be the end of the world or your cue for desperation.

This culturally reinforced anchor keeps people strong. Strength is gained from living in the now. Total satisfaction may still be a milestone away but in acceptance, the vision is reinvigorated.
I'm for effortless ecstasy on a never-ending street called desire. Here's to you knowing your hearts desire and daily satisfaction!

The Chocolate Dream - satisfaction guaranteed?

A suggestive and thought provoking e-mail joke that is doing the rounds caught my eye recently.
It speaks of three of our favourite things; men, chocolate and money. Now, we can safely say that at least two of the topics will consume some part of our thinking during any given week. Suffice to say that the delicious high that makes chocolate so irresistible is probably what makes men and money equally desirable.

If none of the three appeal to you, well, you’re a rare woman! If you find all three are an enticing combination then maybe the email would tickle your fancy. So what did it say?

Truly satisfied
These words were pasted against a rich chocolaty brown background framed to look like a sign that might hang on the back of a public washroom stall door. It said: ‘No woman will ever be truly satisfied because, no man will ever have a chocolate penis that ejaculates money’.

Well, if you, like me had to take a second take then walk with me further. Once we get past the hilarity of the image conjured up in this potent sentence does it strike a deeper chord?
If you had a direct request line to your creator at the genesis when he was creating man would you have dared to request such an intoxicating package in your perfect man?

So why is the e-mail joke is bouncing back and forth across the world in such mirth? Let’s be truthful with one another; whether we package ourselves as demure, vivacious, powerhouse, party-girl or earth-mama or a fiery combination of them all, we all like a little sweetness, pampering, comfort, luxury, good loving and well, I could go on…..

Deep seated desire
Does the joke speak to deep seated desires that we probably feel is too much to ask of ourselves (forget anyone else!) on a sustained basis? A desire to be truly satisfied with where we are with what we’ve got, right now?

The question of satisfaction and whether we’re ever able to get to a space where we’re truly satisfied with any sphere of our lives is a vexed question. For it seems we intentionally embark on never ending mountain hikes, trying to improve, make it better, trying to get there.

Consider why it is that once we accomplish our vision, we duly congratulate ourselves but the satisfaction we imagined is fleeting. So, in no time at all, we charge up our inner resolve and quickly vision another mountain peak to climb. So, most of the time, we’re exhausted, fatigued by the stress and pressure we’ve created for ourselves.

Capacity for change
As creative, reflective and responsive human beings, we have the capacity to change, right now! It’s as simple as allowing yourself to accept what is and break the chain of resistance that creates the pressure cooker of life. In that moment of acceptance, peace will propel you to joyfully create what will be.

For it is likely that if the chocolate man did appear, even for just one night, you’d be too tired to gain any satisfaction. It doesn’t have to be a joke nor a dream. Make your satisfaction the real deal.